Dating: It's All F*cking Gray

When talking about relationships and decision making is “Fuck Yes or Fuck No” the way to go?

The idea is simple: if someone isn't wholeheartedly enthusiastic about being with you in early dating, it's best to move on. While it is easy to dismiss the gray area of relationships and be attracted to this decisive way of thinking, does this strategy evaluate all parameters of the human condition evolving in personal relationships?

The only time to scream “F*ck Yes” or “F*ck Me, Yes” would probably be in the bedroom. Elsewhere, any other expression of interest is just a snapshot, a picture in a motion movie that will change. The feelings of the other person will change based on what you put out. Are you evolving into a better version of yourself, are you who they actually thought they met, have your needs changed during the course of the relationship?

It is not a Yes or No, baby.

Relationships Are Dynamic

One of the main limitations of the "F*ck Yes or F*ck No" approach is its static nature. It assumes that people's feelings and interests remain constant, which is far from the truth. Relationships evolve over time, and so do our feelings toward our partners. What starts as a "maybe" in the face of a shy person can grow into a deep and lasting connection as we get to know them better. The party girl might become your new favorite person to discuss life with and the fitness guy might actually be the romantic soul you need.

The Power of Vulnerability

Building a meaningful relationship often requires vulnerability and the willingness to explore uncharted territory. Insisting on an immediate "F*ck Yes" can discourage potential partners from opening up and revealing their true selves. Embracing the uncertainty of a "maybe" allows for a more gradual and authentic connection to develop.

Growth and Change

People change, and so do their circumstances. What may not be a "F*ck Yes" today could become one in the future if both individuals are committed to personal growth and working on the relationship. Life is full of unexpected twists and turns, and sometimes the best relationships emerge from the willingness to adapt and change together. What was a “F*ck Yes” might turn into a breakup once you realize your partner does not want the kids you desperately want to have.

Building Communication

Embracing the gray area promotes open dialogue, which is vital for resolving conflicts, growing together, and maintaining a strong connection. Knowing and owning that the attraction of your partner depends on your attitude, communication, and willingness to be the best partner for them has the beauty to keep the romance alive. One understands that a relationship is dynamic and needs constant care to thrive. In a healthy relationship, individuals should feel comfortable expressing doubts, concerns, and insecurities without fear of instant rejection. Insisting on a binary "F*ck Yes or F*ck No" mindset can provide a false sense of stability.

The Great Expectations

Rushing into a "F*ck Yes" or "F*ck No" decision looks more like a sign of hopefulness and romance than logic and decisiveness. A “F*ck Yes” brings a false sense of idolization of the person and potentially the “sunk cost fallacy”. You might be more likely to stay in this because you said that F*ck Yes a while back, although the red flags have already appeared.

On the other hand, it is not uncommon to look back on past relationships and realize that a "maybe" at the time could have blossomed into something beautiful if you weren’t occupying your head with something else at the time.

Mr Gray Will See You Now

The “F*ck Yes or F*ck No” might seemingly bring clarity to some, however, like everything in life, relationships are not black or white. It is all in the shades of gray where it is crucial to recognize the fluidity of emotions and the need for adaptability. Relationships that thrive in the gray area allow for personal growth, resilience, and the possibility of discovering deep connections that may not have been immediately apparent. True stability in a relationship comes from being able to navigate the ever-changing landscape of emotions and life circumstances together, without rigidly adhering to a binary mindset.