Malleability: Conviction vs Growth

Oh Conviction

Oh, conviction, The regal armor in the theater of human interactions. It carries the weight of authority and magnetism, transforming once audience to cult-like following. We admire at the individuals who wield convictions with unwavering certainty, their words echoing with the power to influence and shape narratives with ease. We often find ourselves yearning to step into the shoes of those who possess this trait. The individual with unshakable beliefs, the one who can articulate their worldview with clarity and certainty, becomes a magnetic. Almost as the life of someone with an rigid mind gets it easier in life.

Under the Shell

Often times, as we peel back the layers of this behavior, we may discover a paradoxical truth - strong convictions depending on the field they are on, may not always signify a powerful sense of self; rather than a clumsy effort to attain a sense of identity.

I see the human psyche as a pliable clay, resilient enough to maintain its form yet susceptible to the gentle touch of change. The metaphor of clay explains that being tough enough to hold one's shape is essential, but being malleable is equally crucial for personal growth and self-discovery.

Ego

But, where does this behavior of unyielding beliefs stem from? The psychology behind adopting strong and inflexible behavioral patterns is rooted in the human need for identity and our ego needing a sense of purpose. When faced with the complexities of life, the navigation of life through uncertainties is daunting. If everything around is changing rapidly the individual might attempt to control the only thing they can which is their patterns by establishing a tangible identity. This robust shell serves as an inhibitor for self-exploration. The ego thrives on maintaining a sense of identity constructed from past experiences, achievements, and even failures.

Perfectionism

The allure of unyielding beliefs often stems from the fear of confronting the inner-self, perhaps an inability and shame to accept the darkness that each one of us holds. Strong convictions become a shield against the vulnerability of acknowledging our uncertainties and insecurities. Much like clay hardening to resist external pressures, individuals may rigidly cling to their beliefs as a defense mechanism, creating an illusion of self-assurance while shielding themselves from the ugly parts they cannot accept or want to hide.

Fish in the Sea

Societal pressures and expectations can also be a fueling factor. The desire for acceptance and validation often leads individuals to conform to established norms. No matter if beliefs are right or wrong, polarizing opinions always get attraction, which is what some people lean towards often in sacrifice of their authenticity.

Play with Clay

Genuine strength lies not in the rigidity of one's convictions but in the ability to adapt, evolve, and recalibrate in the face of life's inevitable changes. Growth and rigidity, stand at opposing ends. The nature of growth demands a departure from the inflexible, an acknowledgment that the path to self-discovery is an intricate journey of shedding old layers and embracing the vulnerability inherent in transformation. Catalyst for the transformation is continuous self-reflection, much like peeling the layers of an onion, each moment of introspection reveals a new stratum, a deeper level of consciousness.The paradox then unfolds: you realize the more you know, the less you know.

The ego thrives on maintaining a sense of identity constructed from past experiences, achievements, and failures. To embrace malleability is to challenge these attachments at a daily basis. It requires a constant awareness of moments when rigidness surfaces, when the mind clings to familiar patterns. Remember, it is the brains natural state to try to attach. This dance with the ego demands the courage to question the foundation of our perceived identity which will reshape only to ask to be destructed again.

In relationships, the rigid individual may find solace in predefined roles and expectations. Its only natural to feel unsafe when meeting someone new, and using past experiences as a navigator to approach the new person. But, how wrong it is to assume that we can translate them through a different language of people of our past. True connection happens when partners allow themselves to evolve and grow together. The clay-like approach enables each person to mold and be molded by the other. Loosening the ego's grip on predefined roles and expectations, allowing the relationship to evolve organically and nurturing the space for authentic connection to flourish. Also known as the Michelangelo phenomenon: close partners promote versus inhibit one another's movement toward ideal-self goals.

Friendships, too, benefit from the fluidity of personal growth. Especially, after college years, where each person's life changes drastically, embracing change means gracefully acknowledging when certain connections have fulfilled their purpose, making room for new, more aligned friendships to blossom or even letting these connections find a new place with a different shape in our lives. Thriving in a professional setting, adapting to a new environment, be it a new job, a city, or a culture, requires a willingness to be shaped by the unfamiliar.

In the end, the clay is not a passive substance molded by external forces but an active ingredient in self-discovery and the liberation of a truer, more authentic identity.