Inner children and their boundaries

The ability to empathize with our partners, to see beyond their outer layers and glimpse the wounded inner child within, can be a powerful catalyst for healing and growth. Acting from empathy and emotional intelligence in relationships is an essential part of a healthy relationship. The people who "do the work" tend to intellectualize situations and overexplain their partner's hurtful behavior.

However, the ability to understand the cause of an action should not be mistaken for weakness and reason for forgiveness. Empathy and emotional intelligence should not serve as a shield to tolerate toxic behavior.

Individuals in relationships find themselves caught trying to balance empathy and self-preservation. They may empathize deeply with their partner's struggles and insecurities, seeking to soothe their wounded inner child and provide a safe space for healing. Do not get me wrong: providing that space is essential for any relationship. One should understand that although this action might be caused by a wounded inner child, it was an adult who took that action. Consider how hard it is to heal your own inner child, then you will realize that it is impossible to try to heal someone who is unaware or might not want to receive your help.

Setting boundaries in relationships is not a selfish act: by establishing clear boundaries and holding ourselves and others accountable for our actions, we create a foundation of trust, respect, and mutual understanding upon which healthy and fulfilling relationships can flourish.